Handmade Books Workshop
At the beginning of last year I was feeling a little brave. After spending 6 years in Exeter feeling totally isolated and barely leaving the house, I took a giant leap of faith and offered up my baking services to The Hub On The Green (who I found out about via Twitter) for one of their Craft Fairs. Much to my surprise this turned out to be an enjoyable experience, and so I did it again for the next one.
I soon became involved in the setting up of the Exeter Baking Club. I also started helping out at The Hub’s Craft Fairs serving the tea and cake. Both things I never thought I’d be able to cope with doing. It hasn’t always been a smooth journey and many anxious, panic filled tears have been spilt. But I did it. I got myself out there, met new people, did new things.
Then I started to realise I had stopped getting out there and doing new things. I was going to The Hub all the time and constantly hearing about this exciting workshop, or that great crafting afternoon, but I wasn’t doing any of them. I had done all the hard work of originally getting myself out of the house and interacting with other people, but I’d built up a new comfort zone that I was becoming just as scared of leaving.
And this is where we come to the Handmade Books Workshop. I had seen the posters advertising it and was immediately intrigued. Any book lover would be. But then I did nothing. It didn’t enter my mind that I should actually go.
Fast forward a few weeks and I’m sat at home flicking through Facebook out of sheer boredom when I see a post about the Handmade Books Workshop again, mentioning how you should book a place quickly because they’re going fast. So on the spur of the moment, I sent off an email asking to book a place.
The next 3 weeks of waiting for the night of the workshop were an anxious hell. All of that hard-earned confidence from last year has completely vanished.
Come Monday night I had almost decided that I couldn’t bring myself to go and stressed myself out so much about it that I didn’t sleep at all. But as yesterday evening came around I kept saying to myself, “you’re just going to The Hub, you’re just going to The Hub” and eventually this was enough to get me out of the house.
Once there I decided it would be unacceptably rude to leave and with one familiar friendly face in the group calming my nerves slightly, I sat down and just hoped my anxiety and slightly uncontrollable shaking wouldn’t ruin the entire experience.
The shaking caused some slight problems. Cutting straight lines was comically difficult but I have ended up with two very lovely concertina books and one slightly dodgy looking one that I’m just going to forget was even attempted. I had intended to put a spine on one of the books too but didn’t get around to it in the end.
It was a wonderfully creative workshop. Nina gave brilliant demonstrations for us to follow and then set us free to play and experiment. Making a book can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. I kept it simple. Nina’s own work was incredibly impressive (books with compasses and paint palettes built-in!) and some of the other ladies created some stunning things too.
I don’t know if I’ve proven anything to myself through this experience; that I did do it despite everything I was feeling. I don’t feel particularly proud of myself. Especially not after bursting out in uncontrollable tears as soon as I left. Just once I’d like to be able to enjoy something without the experience being tainted by my ridiculous problems.
I understand very well how debilitating anxiety disorders are. I have struggled with similar issues on and off for many years and you know what? I think you should be proud of yourself for last night. It was a big step and you managed to get through it. The books look ace too
Thank you
Hello you, just found this while ambling about the Hub website. Thank you so much for coming along and I’m really glad you enjoyed it. I think you are a very brave person. Remember bravery isn’t about not being afraid, bravery is acting despite the fear. That makes you a very brave person. Well done, and great pictures. May I use that one of the workshop on my blog as I never get round to taking pictures when I’m teaching? I’m hoping to have a stall at the craft fairs when they start again, and looking forward to trying out the tea and cakes, yum.
Nina x
Thank you, Nina.
Feel free to use any photos, there are a few more on the Through The Magic Door Facebook page too.
Thanks, found the facebook ones too, and I’ve done a blog post with a link to your blog. I like the look of the chick pea recipe, I love chick peas but haven’t had any for ages..